止観- stop and stare
Happy New Year! Hope you have had a nice start of this year.
I decided to stay in Japan for several more months for my family and my own update. Here is so bright and beautiful. I see so many signs of spring already although air is still cold.
This year my focus is on space. To have enough space for the new. I was not allowing myself to have vacant times and made me busy not to see myself. I was so much afraid of meeting myself. Now I am aware what I was afraid of: the fact that I am space, not this physical body. Things I believed and was bound were just opposite of the truth and I was living upside down. I am flow and transient like all other living entities in this planet. Things are just happening. The people I am meant to meet come into my life when time comes, and in order to make it realize, I should stop and stare. This is the source of creation. In Buddhism we value three: people, place and timing. Right person, right timing, AND right place. To me the right place is Japan now. Relinquishing the old worn-out pattern, I feel space. It is the source of energy and it's me. Nothing we can accomplish unless all these three are met, and as an individual we cannot do anything. Anything you try to do forcefully for your own sake will fail anyway. Your individual desire won't come true...depressing? I used to feel it was demotivating but now it sounds very releasing. What we can do is 止観 (stop and stare: śamatha-vipaśyanā) and feel space for all the potentials.